.-= Brianna´s last blog ..Third Times the Charm =-.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to be married. I’ve always wanted to be a wife. I’ve always known that when I fell in love, it would be forever! I’ve always known that when I get married, it will be forever.
I found out a couple weeks ago that yet another friend I grew up with that was married last year, is now not married anymore. 
The same thing happened to another friend 2 years ago. When I heard what had happened all I could think was, “why is leaving/divorcing an option?” It is hard for me to comprehend that people think there is another option to leave their marriages. No, I don’t know the details of why, but I do know that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Maybe that is just me… but the Scriptures say do that
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
“To those who are married I have a command, and it is not from me but from the Lord: a woman is not to separate herself from her husband but if she does separate herself, she is to remain single or be reconciled with her husband. Also, a husband is not to leave his wife.“
Maybe its not me… Right there in the Scritptures it commands us to not separate from our spouse. It doesn’t say “don’t separate unless…”. It just says do not separate. That Scripture goes along with:
Matthew 19:5b-6
“and the two are to become one flesh’? Thus they are no longer two, but one.“
When you get married, you are no longer your own person, you are one with your spouse. When you pull something apart, it is not as strong as it was and it is not whole anymore. Marriage is like the example of the two strand cord. Two
separate strands come together as one and is strong. It is whole. That is really profound because God created each of us as a strand that there is another strand to which He made to become whole with. I believe that God created a specific spouse for each of us: Someone who is a perfect match for us. God has someone out there for every one of us, and the trick is to rely completely and wholly on Him to bring that Perfect One to us. No, it is not easy… I know!
I think we need to get in the mindset, and train our children to be of the mindset that marriage is a “no out” commitment. I know that marriage is not a walk in the park, but it is something you’re gonna have to work at. My parents haven’t always had the best marriage or one that is what it should be, but if I learn nothing else about marriage from them, the one thing I’ve learned is you stick it out! My parents have stayed together through the thick and thin and have prevailed! So I know its not gonna be easy all the time.
In the movie, Fireproof, Caleb and Michael make a very good point when they have this conversation:
Caleb:”Marriages aren’t fireproof. Sometimes, you get burned.”
Michael: “Fireproof doesn’t mean that a fire will never come, but that when it comes you’ll be able to withstand it.”
I know that it is possible to withstand fires through your marriage. You just have to want to do. It commands you in black and white that you are not leave your marriage even when its tough and you don’t think you can go anymore. You can do it tho because marriage is a forever covenant. Remember: Never leave your partner behind!
©AmandaDixon2009
Related Articles
Tags: "Marriages aren't fireproof", "no out", 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, a husband is not to leave his wife, a woman is not to separate herself from her husband, Bible, Caleb Holt, command, covenant, divorce, editor, editorial, Fireproof, forever, God, lifelong commitment, love, marriage, married, marry, Matthew 19:5b-6, Movie, Never Leave Your Partner Behind, perfect match, perfect one, quotes, Scriptures, staying married, Thus they are no longer two but one., two strand cord, writing
November 13th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Amanda,
I think part of it starts in grade school. Children are giving the opportunity to play pretend marriage and divorce all the time with little mini relationships. Even in Kindergarten (and younger) adults laugh and encourage having boyfriends and girlfriends.
From a young age children learn that relationships are temporary. I know little girls who have one best friend one day and another best friend another day.
I am not saying you cannot have more than one close or best friend, but the ones that you call your best friends… well, there should be some kind of long-term stick-to-it-tiveness. LOYALTY.
But that is not the way it is done.
When I find an old friend on Facebook I am surprised if they are still with that guy from highschool b/c that is pretty rare. IT should not be so, but it is.
I am happy to report that while life is not always perfect, I am still happily married to the same man I married almost 20 years ago and love him more now than I did then.
IT is funny when he meets someone and says he has 5 children they think it’s a “his”, “hers” and “ours” group. It’s only five children for goodness sake, not 25!
I have had people ask me if they all have the same father! And they were not kidding!
I am glad you have a Biblical perspective and I pray that your Mr. Right comes along soon and knows from the start what treasure he will have found when he finds YOU!
Auntie Christina´s last blog ..Lyn’s Baked Oatmeal
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Christina~ The first time someone asked Matt if they were “all ours” together, he was really shocked. I think we had 5 too then, and he just thought it was a strange question.
It is a sad reflection on society – and even on Christians – that people even ask.
Momma´s last blog ..Blessed Is HE
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I totally agree with you Amanda! Marriage is forever – isn’t that beautiful? I get so confused and discouraged when I witness the breaking up of Christian marriages. It’s like, since when is divorce an option?
Thanks for another wonderful blog post!
Paulina´s last blog ..Are You Really on the Narrow Path?
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Wow, That’s a LOT of Wisdom coming from a young lady. Even though My Elgin is no longer with me, I still “Feel” Married in my heart. Even though our vows said, “Till Death Do Us Apart” How do you become “unmarried” after loving someone for 33 years?
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 8:13 am
That’s a good point!
Miss Hannah´s last blog ..A {Homemade} Christmas
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Yes, so true Amanda! I too have watched relationships in our church that have fallen apart. It’s so sad to see! I am so proud of my parents for sticking it out. Our life may look “perfect” in some degrees and we have the “perfect” family, but it’s not perfect and we do fight at times.
I know that my parents will never divorce each other no matter how many arguments/quarrels they may have. 
I agree with Auntie Christina, that it can all start at a young age. And parents think it’s “cute” when little girls and boys under 10 hold hands and give little kisses and such.
Bleh! NO Way! And then to “break-up” with said boy/girl (because obviously they aren’t going to marry that person at age 10) later…they are setting themselves up for a life of break-up’s, and the parents are allowing them to! It’s so sad and disgusting to see. 
I also want to choose and allow God to choose my future husband for me, if He wills that I marry someday. I won’t ask the first guy who asks unless he’s the one. He will have show himself to be a man of Godly character qualities and know that divorce will never be an option before he can marry me!
I have to be able to trust him with my heart! 
Blessings to you Amanda!
~Rachel P.~
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Sooooo true, honey!!! Keep it up!!!
Alexandra´s last blog ..On Gun Control…
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Well said. Yeshua permitted divorce ONLY in cases of serious adultery (Matthew 19:9) and Paul added that if an unbelieving spouse were to leave a believer, they do not have to be reconciled (1 Corinthians 7:15) – though of course reconciliation is much better than separation.
Divorce grieves Yahweh deeply, as marriage reflects the relationship between Him and His holy church.
Jade´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo update!
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
For one so young you certainly have a great deal of wisdom young lady and all I can say is WOW.
Marriage is not easy by any means and even more so when one is in a marriage that is unequally yoked. Yes there have been numerous times I have felt like quitting and I am being upfront but you know the struggles that have been going on anyways! As a believer, I know that I am the one who needs to speak and act what I believe and walk the walk – this is not always easy especially when at times I act not according to the way Yahweh expects or would have me to act. So often these times are when both my DH and I speak without thinking and so on and so forth. Am I being a good example in these times? no but I am learning and through this I have to say that our marriage is better now than what it was two months ago. I know there are going to be tons more struggles ahead and I need to learn to stick with it and I have to learn through Yahweh to overcome the difficulties ahead. I also need to pray for my DH a lot more than I have been doing and pray that he comes through to knowing and handing his life over to Yahweh. I need to believe that my DH will come through to the Lord. One of the issues that would break up our marriage is if I started to “bible bash him” – he has said on occasions before words to the effect of that this would be one of the things that would break us up. I have to learn to be an example in other ways and yes it is difficult.
(still we both need to watch the movie fireproof which is still sitting in the office!).
Marriage is a learning curve, a life term commitment not just something whereby you see “how long this lasts”. Trust me I have friends who do not see the view of marriage as a lifelong commitment and I find this difficult to comprehend. I have heard at least on two occasions “we will see how it goes” – this is so sad.
Thank you Amanda for your words of encouragement and for your standing andI also know that when your Mr Right comes along, he will have found an excellent gem in you Dear Friend. You come from an awesome family and one with very strong values which are carrying through into each child
Love and hugs
Page
Page´s last blog ..Menu Plan Monday
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Wonderful wise words Amanda! This is why it is SO important to make sure you are listening to both your parents and your heavenly Father when it comes time to make that committment to a spouse.
Marriage is not always easy. Often times it takes work. Hard work. But, it is oh so worth it. We’ve been married for almost 16 years now. Some roads have been hard to walk, others have been smoother. With Christ leading though all of it has been a blessing for His glory!
Chelsey´s last blog ..The Anti-Child Culture
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
So true, commitment is not about feeling which come and go like storm clouds while love and commitment are like the sun which is always present.
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
OK, so I’m fifteen, but I’m on the same page as you Amanda! I know that I want to wait to get married, not going out looking or feeling pressured. I want to learn and serve while I wait and grow up.
Have a great day Amanda!
Love Jessica
Jessica´s last blog ..Medium Adult!
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Marriage is forever. It is the one thing you can count on to be there always. It is not easy and It won’t be perfect but it is forever and always. I can’t wait to be married soon and to spend forever with my prince charming.
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Its a very hard road and one that needs to be guided by the Holy Spirit…. I pray for all you young people to continue to seek Gods guidance and to keep letting HIM write your love story. There are many things I regret and know my life could be different had I allowed the Father to do this for me instead of living out my fleshly desires, but I am grateful that once I turned to the Lord He has restored many things that could still be so wrong had I not ran back to HIM.
GOD is truly AWESOME
Jeannie´s last blog ..Living Words
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
I never believed in DATING because it is not biblical. The bible teaches courtship on that we agree. And for the most part I agree with what you are saying Amanda but I caution you that sometimes the teaching that you MUST remain with the person you are married to can lead to a very abusive situation for a married woman who believes like you do when they are married to a man who does not respect and honor you.
I am not an advocate of divorce being a child of divorce and later abandoned, certainly not a situation any loving parent would desire to place their children.
Paul said to the unmarried that you can remain purely devoted to God and not have to SUFFER the problems in the flesh associated with being married. I am not saying NOT to marry but I am also saying that not marrying does not have to be TABOO either. There are benefits to being single and surely more blessings when married but ONLY IN THE LORD. If you take the LORD out of the equation then no matter HOW HARD YOU TRY it will never work out.
So in conclusion then BELIEVERS never leave but if a believer is married to an unbeliever and he or she is happy to remain married to you then all is well but if the UNBELIEVER should leave or desire to leave LET them because you are called to walk in peace. It does not say to go out and get another husband or wife it simply says if the UNBELIEVER wants to go let them go. It is far better to live on the top of a roof then under the roof with someone who is contentious.
As for me an my house we shall server the Lord. I am still praying and seeking THE ONE but in the mean time I enjoy being single and about my father’s business.
I will pray for you Amanda and pray that God leads you INTO HIS PERFECT will for your life whatever that may be single or married.
God bless
Allen´s last blog ..No Boundaries
[Reply]
November 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Amanda, so so true
loved the comment from Auntie Christina too
Penny Raine´s last blog ..Free Thanksgiving Crafts eBook
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 12:48 am
Amen Amanda! And amen to Aunt Christina’s post too!
Like you, I have always wanted to get married and be a wife and mother. At 19, I confess that I sometimes worry that it will never happen but I try to trust the LORD. It saddens me so much to see divorce so prevalent – and among Christians too – the very people who should be following the Bible and setting and example for the world!
To the KING be all the glory!
Rebekah
BLOG: http://www.donotgrowweary.com/blog
“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
Rebekah´s last blog ..Fabric Rose
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 4:21 am
Bingo!
It’s all about foundations. What is marriage for? Why is one getting married? What does God want? Do you have the character? Do you really know who that other person is?
I am so glad that my wife and I took the time to figure some of that out before we got married! We didn’t rush into things.
Amanda, I pray that you catch a good one worthy of your heart!
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Amanda~ Praise Yahweh that you have stuck with the Scriptural teachings and you are looking forward to his plan of marriage for your life. I know you will be blessed in it!
I am so thankful that HE put it into our young hearts as parents to not participate when it was “so cute” that other toddlers were “flirting” or “had a boyfriend”. I am thankful for the boldness he gave me to say, “No, they won’t be dating. They don’t need to look for a husband until they are old enough to marry,” when you were toddlers. Not having grown up with that, it was only from Yahweh.
I am thankful for the path he has set us on. It is a joy to hear your heart and see you walk in what you have learned.
Love you~
Mom
Momma´s last blog ..Blessed Is HE
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Because I am an older woman to some of the younger ladies who read (and in the admonishment of Titus 2), I am addressing a couple of issues spoken of above for the young ladies and any other Mom who wants to hear it. I am not addressing any of the men here to teach you.
I have had this discussion before about singleness with others, and a lot of the same things come up. These are a couple of things I disagree with in regards to singles being able to spend more time devoted to GOD and the belief that marrieds battle the flesh moreso than a single person does.
There are two things I have seen in our world today that are not honestly considered when citing these opinions of singleness: I have seen more “problems in the flesh” with the unmarried than with the married, and: the majority of single people have no more time these days to worship and study than do married people. There are so many other things a single person pursues today ahead -far ahead- of walking in the ways Paul walked in the Scriptures. [MOST singles]
Perhaps this was true of Paul’s times when the man was the Spiritual leader and studier of the Scriptures in society moreso than the women in their culture… and the women were at home and not at a job or seeking other things.
We are not at all like Paul’s culture in America today. Paul has a much different perspective and application of these things culturally. We do need to apply that, and also, apply that lifestyle to life as a single person, if we seek to make it true in singleness.
Momma´s last blog ..Blessed Is HE
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 9:39 am
thats right , I totally agree with that
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Well said!! I am just stopping by, and I love this post and your new baby brother! Congratulations to you & your family. And, Happy Birthday
Heather´s last blog ..Speak Pirate? FB Does!
[Reply]
November 14th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Amanda,
I can totally understand your heartache, I just got married 3months ago and at the time my husband and I got engaged I had 4 friends get divorced in 1 year!! I was so discouraged I asked myself if it was even worth trying, then I started to pray and one night My Fiancee (at the time) came to me and said we needed to talk (eek) and it turned out he had been struggeling with the same thing so we both made a promise to each other, ourselves, and God that we would do whatever it takes to keep our marriage strong and be an example to the world. I admire your willingness to hold fast to his promises, my husband and I have encountered so many traps in the 3 short months we have been married but with God’s help we have been victourious in all of them, and I could never imagine being able to leave my husband without any guilt or pain. Hold strong to your faith girly!
Remember If God leads you to it, he will also lead you through it!
God Bless!
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
When I do get married there will be only two reasons I would ever leave my spouse:Adultry,{Excuse me if I spelled the word wrong}and abuse.
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Amen! SO true. Divorce is just not an option; it tears more people apart then you know.
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Love is Not a Fight is a great song. Just thought I would share that info. Check it out on Amanda’s play list. It goes so well with this post.
Allen´s last blog ..No Boundaries
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Oh, okay, I will. Thanks!
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Great post and so true too!!!!!
Hugs,
Katy
Last blog post A Mommy in Training
[Reply]
November 15th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
just FYI:
I did not write this with having anything to do with singles. I wrote it because I am tired of seeing married Believers think they have an option to leave their marriages. I really didn’t want to go into the singleness debate.
[Reply]
November 16th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Thanks for sharing. My husband and I are from two cultures – US and African European! WE had so much to learn about each other’s cultures when we got married 12 1/2 years ago and it caused many a discussion. We have also both lost our father’s , five miscarriages and a son to cancer. So many times I wanted to run away but the Lord told me life would be harder in the US than Africa! I am still here, and days are still very hard sometimes ‘but God’. We made a promise to each other that there would be no-one else in our lives who would break our bond, not even through the now famous FB accounts! he is a child of 2 divorces and was not taught by anyone how to love a woman, nor be a Father. It is hard to learn from scratch but he is trying. I am thankful for his faithfulness to me in spite of all the hardship our lives have hard right from the wedding day (our cake melted and the wedding was delayed 90 mins!!!!!!)
[Reply]
December 1st, 2009 at 3:35 pm
It’s so nice to hear that others feel the same way…marriage is a serious commitment that is forever. I am thankful to have wonderful examples or lasting marriages! My parents will celebrate their 28th anniversary next year and I thank God for their example so often!
[Reply]
December 14th, 2009 at 1:29 am
[...] am soo adoring not only this song, but the meaning behind it. Brayden and Talitha wanted their marriage to be an example to all of how the Savior feels about His people: Us. This is just beautiful and [...]
January 6th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Divorce is NEVER an option, period. It should NEVER even be considered, or even enter one’s mind.
[Reply]
January 14th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I agree with you 100% Amanda. That’s the reason I have and obviously you have decided to veer away from the usual dating path. Dating is a game. The person plays around and decides if they like the person or not. If they don’t then they “break up”. And it’s only them and the significant other. Usually the people that know the most about the person (their parents and God) aren’t involved.
Because if the usual and often expected “breakups”, the same rules of the dating game apply to marriage these days. The person doesnt meet the other’s selfish needs anymore, they don’t get along, they don’t love each other anymore.
The sole reason though, is that God is obviously not in a couple’s lives enough. I’m not saying this about your friends, specifically, but God says, “If you love Me, you’ll obey My commandments”. All of them. Including the one that says let your yes be yes and your no be no, and that vows shouldn’t be broken.
Marriage is symbolic of God’s relationship with us. Does He ever break His promises with anyone? No, and the vows said on the wedding day should be treated with the same respect. The vows are said to each other and in God’s presence, right?
I’m rambling because I’m thinking faster than I can type. But the rate of divorce really bugs me.
All I can say is that I want God to pick the one for me, and I’m going to sit here and wait for that to happen. I think when you let God do the work it’s so much more special–how could someone ever let that go?
alyssa´s last blog ..Hudson Wisconsin is More than Just a Place to Go
[Reply]
January 14th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
Thanks for the insightful post, Amanda.
It’s comforting to me to hear our younger people speak out like this. I, too, am truly brokenhearted by the divorce rate of people who claim the name of Christ – did you know it is NO DIFFERENT than that of society as a whole?
When did it stop being prohibited? Then again, a lot of things have supposedly “changed” since The Book was written… You know, how it’s okay to dress immodestly, speed on the freeway, boss your mate around, etc., etc. *sigh*
[Reply]